Außerdem findet Hilfe
gewöhnlich auf freiwilliger Basis statt und ist kostenlos. Dementsprechend
setze ich voraus, daß die Person der ich helfe meine Unterstützung zu schätzen
weiß und mich mit Respekt behandelt…was der Neffe Ben anders erlebt hat. Das
heißt natürlich nicht, daß ich demütige Dankbarkeit erwarten würde, - aber
zumindest ein Bitte, ein Danke und einen angemessenen Tonfall. Sicherlich keine
Herabsetzungen, Respektlosigkeiten und Nörgeleien. Hilfe ist eben freiwillig
und NICHT selbstverständlich.
BerylliumN
N° 26 User
Recently I've had about an
hour and a half of a free period between two appointments in Munich.
It was a beautiful late summer's day with lots of sunshine but not
too hot to stay outside, so i went into a park and chose a bench
close to a hedge with a tree nearby. I also brought a book, a bottle
of mineral water and a cushion from my car. It was quite comfy there.
Unfortunately I didn't get a word of what my eyes took in from the
pages. For shortly after I opened the book, I heard voices from the
other side of the hedge...in order to avoid overhearing the
conversation Iwould have had to abandon my spot...but I didn't want
to, bacause it was cosy... This was the point where my active,
conscious thinking switched itself off. My brain simply pretended to
keep reading while my ears went on autopilot.
The conversation was about
„help“, - at least it seemed so... One of the voices, - male,
elderly but firm belonged to the landlord. The second voice (also
male) sounded quite young, maybe a man in his twenties and apparently
was the voice of the nephew called Ben, who was to be the „helper“.
The uncle said to Ben that he was glad there was at least somebody
who was willing to help him out with the garden work, emphazising the
disadvantage of his age and the consequences of it, e.g. not being
able to do it all alone and being depend on other people.
Subsequently he expressed his anger towards craftsmen in general and
gardeners in particular, who were in his regard completely unreliable
and useless and far too expensive. After that he complained at length
about the lack of support and respect for elderly people in younger
generations. During all this I heard but a grumble or a little grunt
from the nephew...presumably because he knew he wouldn't get a word
in anyway.
Finally the actual work
started: the cutting and trimming of shrubs and trees. The uncle gave
instructions and orders in a harsh tone, but obviously Ben just
couldn't get anything right of what his uncle demanded: „No Ben!!
Not that much on this side! Don't you see that?...Alright. I guess
this must do... Now you'll have to clip them on the other side as
well. It's obvious, isn't it??!...No! Not the twigs up there! Good
gracious, lad! Think! There will be hole if you go on like that!“
Short silence, then: „ Oh for goodness sake! Look how you put this
ladder in my flower-bed! You broke two roses! Can't you watch out a
bit??!!“ Short silence again, then: „ Well. Alright... I think we
can leave it at that for now...it won't get any better with you
anyway...“ It went on like that for several pages of my book
(maybe around 45 minutes). I didn't hear much from Ben. Along with
his impatient instructions the uncle never said as much as „thanks“
or „please“. I remember feeling bad on my bench, - as if there
were clouds in the sky...but there weren't any.The nagging and
demanding of the uncle's voice made me angry (which I realised only a
bit later on). Then suddenly, the voice of the uncle stopped in
mid-sentence and I heard him exclaim with indignation: „ What are
you doing?! Ben?! Where are you going? Stop! You can't just leave
like that?! We are not finished with the garden!!! Then excited
mumbling after longer silence: „ ...and who is going to do the
other trees and the hedge? What a little bastard! Damn!“, the voice
trailing off towards another corner of the garden (presumably the
exit or the house). Then silence.
I felt like I've been
hurled out of a screenplay at the push of a button. And now I was
sitting there on a bench in a park, surrounded by green, the sun
shining brightly. Suddenly it was so silent, it felt akward. I looked
down at the book in my lap...and consciously realised I had one. I
put it aside and exhaled. What had just happened? Why did I feel
slightly agitated and aggressive? I took a deep draught from my
bottle, stood up slowly and turned towards the hedge. The only thing
I could see from my point of view was a rather big shrub with two
thirds of it trimmed neatly...and the top of a step-ladder. The
nephew was gone. H e must have had enough of the helping-business.
The uncle was gone too.
As I got back on my
cushion to recover from that particular theater show, it became clear
to me that what I'd just overheared has had nothing to do with
„help“. Ben had been used like a robot executing orders. The way
his uncle had treated him was like someone would use a tool or a
mechanic gadget, like an extended arm for inastance, with a
hedge-trimmer on it's end. He didn't really want help, - he wanted
something else. So he never bothered to ask his nephew for his
opinion or wether he was doing ok, neither did he look for any kind
of real mutual communication. He was the user, - Ben was the
exploited tool or robot.
I've had experiences like
Ben in my life, like most of us propably. Situations where another
person pretended he or she needed my help, but really tried to impose
the role of a robot on me. Not a pleasant experience. Depending on
who this particular person was and what he/she wanted me to
accomplish, I temporarly accepted this part. But there always was a
specific reason why it struck me as appalling and loathsome: the
hypocrasy of it. Because it came in the disguise of something
positive – help. Afterwards I questioned the difference between the
use of a robot and asking help of another person:
well, „help“
implicates the other person to participate in the action. Help means
somebody cannot finish somethingon his or her own, or deal with
something without support. But in any case the one who gets the help
is an active part of the scenario.
Apart from that help is a
voluntary action and for free. So at least my support should be
valued and I as the one who does the job should be treated with due
respect...all of which certainly didn't happen to Ben. Of course this
doesn't mean people have to show humble gratitude or something like
that. but simple signs of politeness like saying „thanks“ or
„please“ instead of scolding or harassment, belittlement or
nagging...for,
help is not to be taken
for granted.
Robots on the other hand
are produced things, - machines without a will of their own or
feelings, a mere tool, like a prolonged arm. We don't have to be
polite or respectful to them. We might consider the energy and
resources which went into them in the production process, but it is
ok to shout abuses at them... :-)
To use a human being like
a robot means treating it like a slave, who gets no payment or
appreciation in returrn and who has to endure the moods of his or her
owner in silence. He does as it is ordered, no questions asked.
Then there is another
category: the payed worker. But also in this case appreciation and
respect is due and payment of course! Not necessarily gratitude or a
voice in matters, but valuation. This didn't happen to Ben either.
Considering all this, I
think he was right to resign and just leave. People like his uncle
should get a bill and pay for manpower and not ask for „help“. Or
they should get a robot, made without soul or feelings, a mere tool
for people like the uncle who can boss it around all day long and
shout at it. And when it breaks he would have to hand it in at a
store to get it repaired. But first he would have to make a phone
call for an appointment there...and end up being put on hold for
hours... :-)
I think robots cannot be
produced soon enough, so that people who really put an effort in
getting their things done on their own and treat helping volunteers
with appropriate respect and kindness. And with the help of the
robots these people wouldn't be pestered, insulted and bossed around
anymore by self-proclaimed „frail“ fellow-citizens.
BerylliumN
BerylliumN
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