03/2020 Conversations With A Scholastic

Part III

 

Some weeks later when I sat opposite Wren, he was searching through his bag, looking tense and angry again. I watched him apprehensively because I knew there will be another one of those talks we've had... Sure I could simply block it. I don't have to listen to him or respond. I could tell him to leave me alone with his opinions. But on the other hand I always appreciate first hand narratives. I like to listen to people who come from an entirely different cultural background and lead completely different lives.

While listening to them I try to keep an open mind and find my own position later. After all, what you think is one thing, what you tell people about it, another. In my experience the conversations are more interesting because people are more likely to say what they really think via context. But if you go straight to the point with a strong position on your own side people normally close all up and defend themselves and their point of view and it's going to be very hard to extract any valuable information.

I watched him for a bit longer until I asked:

 

I: "What happened? You look angry...?...Again..."

 

Wren: "You don't know the problems I'm having! My head aches from all of it....It's all about money in this world. Just money, money money..."

 

I thought: 'Oh dear, tell me something new, - right? But I  said:

 

I: " So, I guess you don't have enough of it...?"

 

When I looked up and in his face, I saw hatred in his eyes.

 

Wren: "Not enough? Puh!...They are all criminals! All swine! You know what they do to people who come to them with trust...to their shops?..and then they talk them into things and deceive them, they don't care for you as a human..."

 

I: " What are you talking about? What shops?"

 

Wren: "I mean those bleeding [insert a name of any well known mobile phone company]! I've got depts because of them. A lot of money...and I am working and paying them back and they still want more..."

 

I: "But did you talk so much on the phone or surf that much with it?"

 

Wren: "Well, yes, I did. But that's not all of it....I 've got 2 contracts, you know. Got talked into that by them? And the conditions are bad for me...and I can't get out of any of them. They won't let me. They took advantage of my poor German..and my trust."

 

 I looked at him in amazement. Can anybody really be so naive? He continued:

 

Wren: "But it's not only for my sake. It makes me very sad, what they did to the world."

 

I: "Who did what exactly?"

 

He took a longer look at me and leaned back in his chair. Then he exhaled and put his arms on the desk again, as if he made a decision to enter a fight.

 

Wren: "They are doing that everywhere you know? They take advantage of people and lie to them and trick them into things and they squeeze everything out of them. They take all their money and their treasures and their homes."

 

 

He stopped and watched my reaction. I decided to stick to the point and asked:

 

 

I: "WHO are THEY?"

 

Wren: "The Americans...and the British....they are all descendents of criminals, - the Americans I mean...and the British always help them. All these devils who are fooling the people...Also the French and the Spanish.. They all are exploiting people. They've ruined and exploited my country too. Now they are there and everything is bad. They come and say they want to bring us democracy. This democracy thing is just one big cheat. F*** democracy! We never needed that"

 

He took a break again and scowled at me to check if I was getting angry. I wanted to know how serious he was and if he ever really thought it all through...and what his wish or his vision for himself or his country would be, so I asked:

I: "Ok, let's assume 'they' would all leave your country imediately, - just like that, with no further demands, conflicts or anything. What would you like to have for your country?..."

 

He interrupted me.

 

Wren: "They would never leave. Why should they? They like to exploit it."

 

I: "Ok, ok...just for me, to understand your dreams or aims if you like: what would you want to do or have first?"

 

By his expression it was plain that he'd never seriously thought about that. He looked at me and clearly was trying to collect his thoughts.

 

I: "Don't you think you'd need a plan or a concept, a strategy?"

It took him a while until he replied:

 

Wren: "First they should give us back everything they took."

 

I: "What?"

 

Wren: "The oil, the gems, the money."

 

I: "Well, the oil cannot be given back, so I guess you mean they/we should pay retroactive.." He nodded vigorously. "And then what?"

 

No reply. 

I: "What type of government would you like to install? Which language of all that are currently spoken in your country should become the official language? Which legal system would you want to have?"

 

He didn't respond for some minutes, then he said:

 

Wren: "My people are tired from everything they had to endure. They need a break, some rest... (pause)... they need to think and learn...."

 

I: "What do you mean? How?"

 

Wren: "They need to concentrate on The Book and learn from it. Then they should apply what they've learned and live by it."

 

 I: "Just the one book?And that's all?"

 

Wren: "Yes. Everything a person needs to know...everything that mankind ever could know is implemented in The Book. Humans do not need to know every little detail. We cannot understand the world anyway. How has science and Albert Einstein ever really helped people?"

 

I was puzzled. I thought: 'Wow! That really is pure scholasticism.

 

I: "So, that truely is what you would wish for your country and people, - they should live by the rules of The Book? I think you haven't really thought this through, right?"

Wren: "No, I haven't. But still I think this should be the big picture. There are some technical things like language and administration and so on...but on the whole...yes, that would be the best for us."

I: "You do realise that would mean your favourite legal system would be the Sharia?"

He nodded determined, got up and went to the fridge. He knew my opinion towards this...and I knew that he knew. So there was/ is nothing left to say...

 

These conversations speak for themselves. They include all the underlaying subtle and not so subtle conflicts and intrinsic differences.

 

Wren had been living in this country for 10 years when we had this talks. He went to school here, had an apprenticeship, a carer who helped him to sort things out when he was new here, he's got a job...but still: he had a girl friend (or fiancé)  from his own nationality and would never dream of marrying a European (white) woman, according from what he told me, he will raise his to be children in his faith and according to The Book. He controlled his younger siblings who lived a good distance off, if they obediently went to Koran-school on Saturdays and he himself went regularly to his Mosque-community to be in contact with like-minded people (from what he told me other Scholastics). Neither his heart nor his thoughts, hopes, dreams or visions lay in this country but in what he calls "home". So naturally he will not care all that much what happens to this country or its native people, - they are and will remain strangers to him. Furthermore he distinctively does NOT approve of most of our ways and means. He does not really seek friendship with us but wants to be left alone and build a home away from home which resembles his world as good as it gets.

 A perfect example of a parallel world/society in our society. 

 

 

BerylliumN 

 

 

 

 

 

02/2020 Conversations With A Scholastic/Part II

Part II   Watch out for worms!


About a week later, Wren sat opposite me, leaning back in his chair with a content smile on his face.

Wren: "How are you, B.? Have you had a nice weekend?"

I: "My weekend was quite fine, yes. Thanks. And yours?"

Wren: "I've been clubbing and had fun...so yes, it was good...but one thing I cannot understand..."

He paused. I knew he was waiting for me to ask what 'thing' he couldn't understand. I remembered my last conversation with him about his views and felt a bit reluctant to get into another one...but well...I did what is conventionally expected.

I: "What can't you understand, Wren?"

Wren: "These women...."

I thought 'oh dear'!

Wren: "I mean, - old women...why are they doing that? Why are they dressing as if they were young and hang around in clubs...?"

In my imagination I saw grandmas twirling around on the dancefloor while their elderly friends are sitting at the bar with heavily painted faces, slurping cocktails, dressed up in high-heels.

I: "What do you mean 'old women'?"

Wren: "Don't know...about 50, maybe...?"

While my jaw dropped he went on:

Wren: "I mean, they've had their youth and their lives. Now it's the time for them to stay at home and rock their grandchildren on their knees...so what are they on about?? They mustn't hang out in bars or clubs. It's not nice. It's indecorous...!"

I checked if he was serious...he was. Then I started to laugh heartily. He looked at me in surprise.

I: "So you are saying within the next 2 - 5 years I shouldn't be allowed in a club anymore, or a bar?"

His face went red and he spluttered:

Wren: "Oh! I didn't know you are... er...are you going to clubs or discos?"

I found his aptitude for embarrassing himself rather amusing. He really wasn't much of a brainiac obviously...or was he? Maybe he just didn't give a damn? However, I answered.

I: "Oh no, I never was, never liked it much, you see. But if I would want to go to a club now or whenever I wish, you surely wouldn't forbid me to go, right?"

I looked him straight in the eyes and again I sensed that he will give me the 'correct' answer for the sake of not getting into trouble, - but only for that and not a fathom more. Also I could see that he kind of liked me in a way and didn't want to hurt my feelings, therefore he tried to keep the topic on a non-personal but rather a general level in order to get his point across.

Wren: "You see...why would these women go through all this trouble? Do they, in their age, want to hit on young men?...for shagging??! That's not a thing for respectable grown-up women!"

This was so odd that I couldn't do anything but smile in amazement. He didn't seem to realise what his comments implied on both, - a general and a personal level...so I tried something else.

I: "But Wren, why do you care what these women do? Did one hit on you? Did they offend you in any way?"

He shook his head several times but said nothing.

I: "So why are they bothering you?"

This question needed one or two moments of his consideration before he finally replied.

Wren: "The club doesn't look good anymore. I'm young, I want to see young, pretty girls in there."

I wanted to leave it be, but after some minutes he added.

Wren: "It's not good in the face of God...there's a time for everything, a time for each age where you do certain things, then others. But here it is all mixed up and confused. It shouldn't be like that."

Well, I didn't respond to that and we left this conversation with a hint of affront, resent and anger on my side (again). And because I can't help reflecting on things I thought about it for a while. For me it is astonishing to which degree the course of life in these cultures is irrevocably graded in sections, fixed and linked to unquestionable traditions and restricted by conventions. So called 'normal' people never seem to stand up against those rules...I guess this would be considered as most indecorous... :-) Not only that, it rather seems to be an absolute no-go for every single individual.

I also reflected upon our western attitude, our position, I considered if there could be a tiny something to his point of view... My conclusion was and is that it might not be bad to hear such things from time to time as kind of a counter-weight or a reminder...from a priest or a philosopher, in order to put one's own demeanour into perspective. But the crucial point is that my decision what to do or not to do will then be my own choice. Everyone should choose his/her ways based on free will, with the inherent option for personal insight and consideration. If the way I choose is going to lead to conflict with myself, other people or institutions, then I will have to deal with the consequences. But such things can never be written in law, neither should they be allowed to become unwritten law or a strict 'code of conduct', which might be even worse because the restrictions and no-goes will get engraved in people's minds and do even more harm by going deeper. Then I asked myself: but where is the line between decency and restrictions? We do have protocols and codes of conduct too of course, you wouldn't get served in a restaurant if you showed up in your underwear for instance. So where's the difference? And the fact that I even asked myself this question is part of the problem I quickly realised. Because the difference is that he said "shouldn't be allowed" and that he was only referring to women. Then I got even more angry. How is he doing that? How did he worm his views into my thoughts? Is it because we are brought up with the pretension to question ourselves rather then just follow directives?  

I realised for a second time that I could only accept such a thing by being brain washed....and that I need to watch out for worm-holes... ;-)

BerylliumN

01/2020/ Conversations With A Scholastic

Hi folks! I know, it's been a while but well...sometimes plans clash with reality. So here's a record of conversations I've had with "Wren":

 

Part I

For the safety of personal data and respect for privacy I will call the person I‘ve

spoken to „Wren“ and will not refer to the circumstances or the location where these

conversations took place.

Wren enters the room looking distressed, upset and tired.

Wren: „Good morning, B.! How are you?“

I: „I‘m fine and you? You look upset...“

Wren, looking even more tense, emptying his pockets on the desk.

„I‘m ok...I didn‘t get much sleep last night, had to get up early...couldn‘t get a coffe at

the station… I‘ve got a lot on my mind, you know?...do you want tea?“

I: „ No thanks. Why couldn‘t you get much sleep?“

Wren: „Really? I‘ll make tea for myself anyway, you see...“

I: „No thanks!“

Wren: Two friends showed up late last night. They stayed until 2.30 am...I had to get 

up at 6 am...“

I: „Oh boy! Why didn‘t you tell them to shove off and explained...they can visit 

another day surely…?“

Wren, shaking his head: „No, you can‘t do that in my culture. It would be very rude…

I‘ve got black tea, peppermint, black with lemon...are you sure you don‘t want tea?“

I, becoming slightly annoyed about forced-upon-me-tea: „No thanks! I don‘t want tea 

right now!“

Wren looks at me as if I‘ve just been rude, - which makes me uncomfortable. He 

continues to prepare his tea with a frown.

I: „So why couldn‘t you get a coffe at the station?“

Wren: „Because it was ten to seven...“

I: „What?“

Wren: „The coffe-shop opens at 7h am, I arrived at 10 to 7, there was a young woman, 

cleaning tables, the door was already open. She said it wasn‘t open yet and waved a 

hand at me like I was a dog. I tried to explain that I can‘t wait 10 minutes because I‘d 

miss my train. She got angry and looked at me with an ugly-aggressive face and told 

me that if I don‘t leave right now she‘d call the police...imagine that! The police! 

Why? Because I asked her for an exception?! I said to her: you are a devil!, and left.“

I, amazed: „The devil?“

Wren, agitated with anger: „Yes, the devil. Because women must always be gentle and 

friendly.“

I, getting a bit angry myself: „You do realise you are talking to a woman, right?“

He looks at me, slightly embarrassed: „...er...“

I: „How can you say a woman „should“ always be gentle and friendly??!“

Wren, grinning a bit insecure, but still visibly upset: „Yeah, well, but this was a very 

young woman, almost a girl and I am a man and she should be friendly. It is not nice 

talking to people like that.“

I: „Ah! Don‘t you think then that people in general should speak in a polite and 

friendly way with each other, especially in public...out of respect and common 

decency?“

Wren, trying to get out of this in kind of a „correct“ way: „Hmm, yes, you‘re right.  

People should be polite with each other.“

I can see in his expression that he is saying that, but thinking something else.

I: „Anyway, who says that women should always be gentle...you?“

Wren: „Yes, me. And it‘s written in The Book.“

At this point he put his ear-plugs in and started to watch movies on his Smartphone.

This conversation left me puzzled, a bit angry and uncomfortable. I couldn‘t contradict

or argue about what was written in The Book because I haven‘t read it. So I left it 

there. But I thought: nobody could make me „always be friendly and gentle“ because I 

am a woman...except I was brain washed, or I had to become sort of professionally 

false and duplicitous in my behavior towards people. I wouldn‘t want that either.

BerylliumN