01/2020/ Conversations With A Scholastic

Hi folks! I know, it's been a while but well...sometimes plans clash with reality. So here's a record of conversations I've had with "Wren":

 

Part I

For the safety of personal data and respect for privacy I will call the person I‘ve

spoken to „Wren“ and will not refer to the circumstances or the location where these

conversations took place.

Wren enters the room looking distressed, upset and tired.

Wren: „Good morning, B.! How are you?“

I: „I‘m fine and you? You look upset...“

Wren, looking even more tense, emptying his pockets on the desk.

„I‘m ok...I didn‘t get much sleep last night, had to get up early...couldn‘t get a coffe at

the station… I‘ve got a lot on my mind, you know?...do you want tea?“

I: „ No thanks. Why couldn‘t you get much sleep?“

Wren: „Really? I‘ll make tea for myself anyway, you see...“

I: „No thanks!“

Wren: Two friends showed up late last night. They stayed until 2.30 am...I had to get 

up at 6 am...“

I: „Oh boy! Why didn‘t you tell them to shove off and explained...they can visit 

another day surely…?“

Wren, shaking his head: „No, you can‘t do that in my culture. It would be very rude…

I‘ve got black tea, peppermint, black with lemon...are you sure you don‘t want tea?“

I, becoming slightly annoyed about forced-upon-me-tea: „No thanks! I don‘t want tea 

right now!“

Wren looks at me as if I‘ve just been rude, - which makes me uncomfortable. He 

continues to prepare his tea with a frown.

I: „So why couldn‘t you get a coffe at the station?“

Wren: „Because it was ten to seven...“

I: „What?“

Wren: „The coffe-shop opens at 7h am, I arrived at 10 to 7, there was a young woman, 

cleaning tables, the door was already open. She said it wasn‘t open yet and waved a 

hand at me like I was a dog. I tried to explain that I can‘t wait 10 minutes because I‘d 

miss my train. She got angry and looked at me with an ugly-aggressive face and told 

me that if I don‘t leave right now she‘d call the police...imagine that! The police! 

Why? Because I asked her for an exception?! I said to her: you are a devil!, and left.“

I, amazed: „The devil?“

Wren, agitated with anger: „Yes, the devil. Because women must always be gentle and 

friendly.“

I, getting a bit angry myself: „You do realise you are talking to a woman, right?“

He looks at me, slightly embarrassed: „...er...“

I: „How can you say a woman „should“ always be gentle and friendly??!“

Wren, grinning a bit insecure, but still visibly upset: „Yeah, well, but this was a very 

young woman, almost a girl and I am a man and she should be friendly. It is not nice 

talking to people like that.“

I: „Ah! Don‘t you think then that people in general should speak in a polite and 

friendly way with each other, especially in public...out of respect and common 

decency?“

Wren, trying to get out of this in kind of a „correct“ way: „Hmm, yes, you‘re right.  

People should be polite with each other.“

I can see in his expression that he is saying that, but thinking something else.

I: „Anyway, who says that women should always be gentle...you?“

Wren: „Yes, me. And it‘s written in The Book.“

At this point he put his ear-plugs in and started to watch movies on his Smartphone.

This conversation left me puzzled, a bit angry and uncomfortable. I couldn‘t contradict

or argue about what was written in The Book because I haven‘t read it. So I left it 

there. But I thought: nobody could make me „always be friendly and gentle“ because I 

am a woman...except I was brain washed, or I had to become sort of professionally 

false and duplicitous in my behavior towards people. I wouldn‘t want that either.

BerylliumN